when you are five years old and the first
boy shoves you down and steals your kickball
in the playground, don’t you dare avert your
eyes while he runs away laughing. don’t you dare
wait for a teacher to defend you. darling, you
stand up and punch him in the jaw, hard, and I
promise you, when you come home with your
eyes bright and your knuckles bruised and the
first thing that comes out of your mouth is
I won’t apologise, I will bandage your hand and
tell you that you are in the right. do not ever say
you’re sorry for defending what is rightfully yours.
this is who you will be: the girl who, at
ten years old, keeps her head held high even when
everyone avoids her in the hallway. I promise you,
when you break your arm climbing a tree to rescue
a stray cat and your eyes are shiny with tears but
you are too proud to let them fall, I will let you keep
the cat, because everyone in this world needs a reminder
of who they are sometimes, and if having a purring
lump of fur will shore up your courage on the
darkest nights and make you aware that you are
so much more than the labels they place on you,
then it is more than worth it.
at sixteen you will be tall and gangly and
unloved by most people, but the ones who matter
will see the beauty in your unwavering gaze. you will
paint your lips blood-red and I will stand outside your
bathroom door and listen while you call your reflection
a masterpiece. when the first boy with smiling eyes and
a forked tongue calls you pretty, don’t you dare
believe him. darling, you turn and walk the other way
because you are so much more than pretty. I promise you,
when you chop your hair short with gardening shears and
walk up to me for the first time and dare me with your eyes
to say something, I will only smile and invite you to help me
make dinner and later, when you come into my room in the
middle of the night and sob because the world is stepping on
you too hard and you would rather cut your hair than your
heart, I promise you I will whisper in your ear that you are
crazy and gorgeous and I will repeat the lesson you learned
when you were five years old, only I will remind you that
your heart is so much more important than a kickball.
and darling, know this:
warriors are fierce and lionesses are beautiful, and you
will be both. wear floral dresses with combat boots. make all
the mistakes they will be too afraid to make. do not ever wait
for someone else to affirm your existence. do not ever
apologise for being a brightly burning star amongst so many
dead ones. the world was not created for people like you,
and that is exactly why you must thrive in it.
Every man should envy you, solely for the way I look at you.
If the sun is shining, stand in it- yes, yes, yes. Happy times are great, but happy times pass- they have to- because time passes. The pursuit of happiness is more elusive; it is life-long, and it is not goal-centred. What you are pursuing is meaning- a meaningful life… There are times when it will go so wrong that you will be barely alive, and times when you realise that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a bloated half-life on someone else’s terms.
You can’t keep dancing with the devil and ask why you’re still in hell
Julien Macdonald Ready to Wear S/S 2015.
Badgley Mischka Ready to Wear S/S 2015.
You’re in love with him, and he’s in love with you, and it’s like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground.
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